There comes a time in life when you stand on top of the highest tower, wondering whether it’s the delusional effect of weed or you really are ready for a dive. You hate your identity for the choices you made and the people you let ruin yourself. Slowly you begin to loath so profoundly to an extent that the idea of self-destruction pleases you the most. All you crave to do is disconnect with your soul and go numb with your body. As the soul consociate when it wasn’t expected and the body pounced when the pain was enduring. You resent both for not quitting on you, unlike everyone else.
In your sound sleep, your subconscious overhears their conversation, more of a conspiracy to keep your shattered pieces together. As if it’s the only job they got. “Forgive, but never forget,” you wake up with this fresh yet constructed ideology. The quality mood is naïve but is strongly aware that although the chapter is well-read and revised, it is prepared to be sealed. And, you’re ready for closure.
In the troublesome and upsetting experience of heartbreak, you often comprehend during your sleepless nights that your heart aches, literally. Some nights get rougher, and tears roll down out of nowhere. At least when you weren’t expecting, being too busy putting on your I-don’t-care-anymore face. You ponder why you’re feeling physical pain when it’s your soul that’s hurt. How would you take your mind off from this unnecessary trauma? Why do you’ve to suffer when it isn’t even your mistake in the first place?
Undoubtedly there are some silent hours at work, and you close your eyes and reminisce the happy times. The uncomplicated days of laughter and trust. The playful nights and perky movie dates. It unfolds in front of your eyes as it was an upbeat and promising movie with tragic ending. Like you mourned for the characters, still you had a lovely time watching it. You ate popcorn, came back home, and slept like a baby. Only it’s not a movie, it’s your life. There will be days or months or even years before you can feel ease to calmly sleep.
The major win lies in the mere verification of the evident operation of body with respect to soul. The latter is constantly trying to keep its shit together, when everything is falling apart. You’re on the verge to give up on faith and other infinite positive possibilities. This situation is moderately similar to the concept of an over expensive destination wedding. It is outright waste of money yet carried on anyway as it’s about that particular moment. A momentarily happiness shared by bride and groom with the people around them, and is cherished for the rest of their lives. We often overlook the fact that the breakdown of your bodily functions and senses after a heartbreak is temporary. In order to save yourself the drama, you need to forgive the person and move on. But never forget, it makes you humble and strong at the same time. And most importantly, it keeps you connected to your basic human emotions and elements. Being honest to self is substantial. If you won’t, who will?
Relationship, family, friends, career and various other hundred aspects altogether are responsible for building a whole life. A deprivation in one factor shouldn’t affect the temperament towards other entities. It’s like preparing coffee. You screw up with proportion of one ingredient and you compromise the mark of superb taste. That’s why a smart barista always has a secret ingredient. Likewise, your ace of the deck is your maturity which allows you to maintain a fair balance and eliminate the need of outside attention or approval or even acceptability. It’s a mangled world. If a person isn’t content being on his own, how can he thrill anyone else?
People are seeking to high their spirits, and the universe falls in love with a happy soul. True love will eventually find you, not promisingly on a horse-drawn chariot, but probably at some window seat or a bar counter. Mostly, someone real at some place simpler in a transparent world.
– Concept by Abhishek Dorik
-Curated by Swamini Khanvilkar